God and this weekend!

I'm not the most religious person out there, but I definitely believe and when I feel God's presence,it rocksmy world.

I felt God many times these past couple of days and I saw His work. It was an amazing weekend for many reasons. (I'm a list kinda person. I make them, usually lose them, make another, lose it, you get the picture)

1. My girl came home this weekend. I knew I missed her terribly, but when I saw her standing in the corner of my classroom, I lost it. I screamed, I cried, I hugged her as tightly as I could and I just couldn't let go. The love and happiness I felt at that moment was so powerful, so wonderful.

2. A GORGEOUS wedding this weekend took my breath away. The wedding itself was amazing, but the COUPLE, oh my, I fell in love with them. Meghan was such a beautiful bride.....so calm, happy, and so LOVED. The way Aaron looked at her, I knew that was God's work. These two are so meant for each other. These two are like magnets.....they have the most amazing friends who just want to be near them because of who they are. I now have a new friend and feel so blessed. I love you Meghan!

3. Kaity, photographer, creative soul, daughter extraordinaire was my "second camera" for the wedding on Saturday. She should have been the First Camera and I should have been her assistant! I was so proud of her and how she worked! WOW is all I can say about her photography. Seriously, WOW!

4. Three weeks late for my monthly "visit" and at MY age this is pretty scary stuff. So when I took a test and got the ONE solid blue line (negative) I was on my knees saying, "AMEN! Thank You God! Praise the Lord!" I'm a believer for sure!

5. Sunday morning, William and Sonoma Belgium waffles, sausage, coffee, orange juice, a laptop, 2 yummy littles and one of my dearest friends was Heaven on earth. In this home of my friend, I wear no makeup, forget to brush my teeth at times, have greasy hair and I feel love and acceptance like only God could provide. It just warms my heart when my Kaity is only home for 48 hours and she wants to spend a few of those hours at what I consider my sanctuary. Thank you Kelle, Lainey, Nella and Brett! You and your home fill my heart so completely!

6. I also felt God on Sunday when I watched my girl go through security at the airport without me. My heart was breaking butI know that my love for her is so deep ithas to be a gift.

BUT I have to say, I hate concourse D....it sucks! That's where I broke down in the restroom, when I returned from leaving her in Savannah and where I leave her when she goes back there...it's like a black hole that sucks her in and I can't stop it. Damn concourse D! So as I watched her leave yesterday, I realized I have changed. I don't "feel" like I use to and I realized why....half of my heart is in Savannah. How can I truly feel and love and be happy when part of my heart is missing? I know that sounds like all doom and dread and poor me BUT here's what I did. What does one do when they come to this realization? To this epiphany? She goes shopping!

I hiked through the airport to Brighton and bought myself a gorgeous bracelet full of sparkling, silver hearts. Then I went to Starbucks and got myself a Pumpkin Spice Latte! My heart feels much better!

Amen!

Kaity Bug

I have tried to write about Kaity going off to college. I actually wrote it, erased it, wrote again and erased again. I've decided NOT to write about her leaving. Why? It was very hard and sad. I cried so much that airline security was even concerned! The poor metal detector guy was more scared of me than a suicide bomber. I cried for days and I didn't sleep for at least a week. I don't like to think about those days so I've decided to write about her, not her leaving.

My girl is happy so therefore I'm happy. She and I spent all weekend decorating her dorm room. I was NOT going to leave my girl unhappy and I knew having a pretty room with tons of curtains, rugs and warmth would make her happy. Check out how cute her side of the room is!

I think she's found her "place" at SCAD. I left her (and $1,000 that I spent on decor) in Savannah on a Sunday and by Thursday she had gages in her ears. Thank GOD, she came to her senses and took those out! About 2 weeks later, she replaced the gages with a tattoo. She loves!

She has made so many friendships in such a short time. One of her roommates, Allison, has become a great friend and I LOVE this girl! I'm thrilled for them both! She's found Tybee Island and has been there for SUNRISE a few times and kicked out some gorgeous photos. Alex went up this past weekend and again her photos are amazing. She's getting better by the minute and hasn't even taken a photo class yet. I can't wait for her to get into her major. She is going places, my girl. I can't wait to see where her talent and beautiful soul take her!

Speaking of going places...I'm flying her home this weekend to be my second camera at a wedding on Saturday. Do I need her for the wedding...probably not, but what a great excuse to see my girl! I'm so excited!

Karma

Introducing.....DOZER. What does he have to do with Karma? Nothing!

Dozer meeting Domo for the first time!

I'm sprinkling a few photos of my new friend Dozer throughout this post so it doesn't seem too negative and lightens up the mood! Just keeping Dozer the rest of the weekend.

I believe in God and have a very solid religious foundation, but I am also open to other ideals and beliefs. I started thinking about Karma several years ago and then gradually it has become a life preserver for me. I think without the belief of Karma (or heaven/hell) I would sink. I NEED Karma to be real. I NEED Karma to work. I don't need to be witness to Karma in action, but I HAVE to BELIEVE that those (one in particular) who have done such wrong, this one in particular who has done such wrong to my only daughter will suffer one day......wether it's hell or Karma - I don't care, I just want it to happen. So is this bad Karma for me to want bad Karma to happen to someone who is bad? Haha yep, I guess it is!

Dozer doesn't like my bills either!

I've been told that it's wrong of me for not confronting this "person". But if I do, it will only make matters worse or even harder for my girl. So I will believe that God or Karma or whoever/whatever will take care of this for me. It is truly out of my hands, so to the powers above....go for it! Make it happen and I'm more than willing, happy even, to take what's due to me for wanting this so very badly.

Another interesting thing about Karma is that I've always thought of it as above...this one person getting what he SO deserves. But last night as the moonlight was streaming through the blinds and a beautiful candle was flickering and casting it's shadow on the wall, I had an epiphany. Karma works in both ways. So I tried and tried, but couldn't figure out what I've done in my life for me to suddenly be so deserving. Is that Karma (cause I'm obviously NOT that good of a person for wanting someone else to suffer)? I don't know if it's Karma or God working His magic, but thank You.

Also, the Catholic in me thinks I will probably end up in Purgatory for quite awhile before the decision is made for me of Heaven vs Hell as my resting spot...so if I die before you do, please say tons of prayers on my behalf...I'm gonna need them. Thank you!!!

Dozer vs Domo....who's cuter??

Yummy Photos

I took some photos of my friend's little yummy on Easter evening. Jocelyn is turning one this week and I'm so in love with her. She is the happiest little one I've ever seen. By the end of the shoot, she was running into my arms and giving me kisses. They were those open mouth, tongue out, kisses that ONLY a baby can pull off and of course I LOVED them....puppy breath and baby kisses, you can't get much better than that!

Thanks Kim Bratcher for letting me spend time with Jocelyn and thanks Heidi Darwish for the use of the stool. It was perfect!!!

Surprises

I don't get surprised easily, like never. These last few days have been full of surprises and I was CLUELESS with them all. Seriously, that never happens with me. Carie got me at work last week with a beautiful lunch with a theme, of course. She HAS to have a theme. The theme was Italy and it was delicious! Homemade lasagna, garlic bread, a cake with the Italian flag, etc. It was awesome!

Today, I took my kids out to lunch to a new little Cuban place and it was yummy. But then out of the blue, my friend, Charity, walked in with a huge bouquet of balloons. I was shocked! She got me!

I got on to facebook for only a few minutes before my internet stopped working and OMG-all the wonderful and surprising birthday wishes! I was shocked and felt like a million bucks! Thank you so much to everyone for such nice thoughts and wishes. It was really cool. I can't wait to be able to read them all.

We went to the Melting Pot tonight for a little celebration and there were some things that took place that weren't surprising:

1. I was so full I thought I'd bust!

2. When the chocolate fondue was empty to most people's standards, my dad and I scrapped the sides of the pot. We weren't done. It was so good and I definitely got my chocolate tooth from my dad.

3. My mother gave me an interesting gift. Her thriftiness is quite amazing, but not surprising at all. You'll have to check out the photo!

Coming home from dinner, we decided to inhale all the helium from the balloons I got at dinner. Hysterical! Then on my doorstep was another "gotcha". Fruit and chocolate are my 2 favorite foods (and ice cream and pizza). Combine the two-chocolate and fruit and what do you get? Healthy, yummy, edible bouquet bliss! Ahhhh, yes!

Ok, so here are some of the amazing gifts I received these last few days. Check out the purple, candle, light thing. That's from my mother. She is the queen of cheap. She usually leaves the price tag on her gifts and they've all been marked down, then down and then down again. This one didn't have a tag, but she did inform me that it was originally $40, but she would NEVER spend that much. So when it went down to 75% off, she snatched it up....lucky ME! If my mother spent anything less on a gift, then there wouldn't be a gift and I wouldn't have anything to laugh about! So these gifts are different and cheap and usually quite ugly, but I love them.

Now this is the BEST gift of all!! Kaity made this in pottery for ME and it's gorgeous!! It's priceless as are my friends! Thank you to so many wonderful people in my life who made this such a great day and a surprising, eventful, wonderful few days. Thanks G F'n D, you are the best surprise of all! xoxoxo

Senior Night

Senior Night finally happened. It was a bit surreal. I've been to other senior nights over the years and they were......nice, sweet really. This night, this year, this time, was Kaity's time and it was hard with a capital H! My tears were flowing as soon as I made eye contact with her. She's just a little girl, my baby....how can this be? But it was real and it was happening. The steps I took on the field were the same steps that so many other parents have taken and that should have been comforting. But it wasn't. In my head I kept hearing, "this is it. this is the last time she will ever be on this field". (my mind doesn't use capitals, I guess)

This picture puts a knot in my throat every time I look at it. Liz and Jay Tirrell (the NICEST people in the world) walking their senior down, Ali and Liz grabbing the hand of her other daughter, Abbey.

Thank you, Tirrells for hosting such a great party. Your house was full of love. Everyone there felt it. Thank you, to all the parents for the delicious food you brought. The night was a huge success with just another wonderful lacrosse memory made.

Senior Sadness

I have been working nonstop on some Senior Surprises....Shhhhh. Senior Night is next week for lacrosse. OMG, I can't believe it's almost here. Anyway, I've been using every spare second I have to create some presents that I hope will be cherished for years to come. I took the day off today to try to get these done. I've had 3 cups of coffee so far and I was doing great, until I started working on Femke's (Kaity's best friend)gift. And it hit me. This is it.....it's almost over. I LOVE these girls so much, it hurts. I've watched them for the last 3-4 years on the field, in my car and at my house. Femke is a daughter to me, she means so much to me. I'm going to miss each one of them so much. So I took a little break from my "work" to wipe the tears and take a deep breath (and a long pee from all that coffee). I'm hoping God or vodka or something will give me the strength to finish these projects in time and to get through Senior Night without ending up as a big puddle on the side of the field...I can do this, I can do this, I WILL do this!

Madeline and Lizard

Kaity, Femke and Erika

My Kaity

Ali-I LOVE you!! 18 this Friday-WOW!

Kaity, Coach Howie, Femke Femke and Harry!